THE GREATEST OLDIES OF ALL TIME

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quote unquote SIGH

This entry goes out to willowfox, without whose kind interest I likely wouldn�t have had the confidence to continue Diarylanding. Plus she�s awesome.

I have been experiencing a Vance and Viola drought; no sightings, no tid-bits of gossip upon which I might embroider an intricate pattern of possibilities, potentialities, rumors and grass-roots movements.

Someone on the phone tonight reminded me that �knowledge is power�, but if you actively construct knowledge yourself your agenda is much more easily fulfilled. There are two main things that I would like to accomplish at work; one is to smarten-up the �well-meaning� folk who put together the scripts for our surveys, and who are, �surprisingly�, not required to have any background in survey research, and are furthermore capable of enabling such lame questions as:

�When was the last time you performed Generic Activity X?"

a) 1-2 weeks ago
b) 2-4 weeks ago
c) 4-6 weeks ago
d) 6-8 weeks ago

Complete, I ought to mention, with the instruction >>>DO NOT READ<<<, as pertaining to the answer choices. In a �shocking� development', ALMOST EVERYONE answered: �2 WEEKS AGO�, leaving us unable to �clarify� (by �reading off the list�) if that would be, perhaps, 1-2 weeks ago, as opposed to, say, 2-4 weeks ago. We complained vigorously, but no one from above made a peep of response. Power may be knowledge, but silence is an expression of that power, absolute in its blankness. I think they are afraid of hurting the clients� feelings by telling them that a) we are a bunch of clowns who don�t know how to write useful survey questions b) the data we collected the previous night was most likely flawed by our ridiculously elaborate, cloak and dagger approach to communication. SOOOOOO STOOOOOPID���

���oops! And the other thing I would like to get done is to see that Vance and Viola rightfully occupy their side-by-side thrones in the Palace of Wax-sealing, Spoon-bending, Greatest-of-All-Time Love. Fortunately, both Angry Warren (perhaps this is a good time to reiterate that he lives in the apartment below Vance?) and I are attending this payday�s card game, so I will have ample opportunity to toast him into bean-spilling inebriation. Wish me luck!

1:19 a.m. - 2006-05-24
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