THE GREATEST OLDIES OF ALL TIME ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is She Really Going Out With Him? I celebrated my birthday this week. In a fit of self-indulgence, I decided not to prepare ANY food for myself, on the actual day (as an indicator as to what counts as food preparation, combining cereal in a bowl WITH MILK falls into that category, while eating dry cereal out of a bowl does not). And so, the comeuppance to my flamboyant slothfulness was that the pizza I ordered gave me food poisoning. However, the abdominal distress I�ve been experiencing thanks to Pizza Hut is nothing compared to what I felt today at work, while waiting to catch an elevator from the 2nd floor, where Vance and Viola work, to the 3rd floor. Two other interviewers were waiting to ride down, all the while gossiping about Vance and the INTERVIEWER WITH WHOM HE HAS POSSIBLY BECOME ENTANGLED! Gossiper #1 was effusing on and on about how scandalous it was, while Gossiper #2 and I were desperately trying to figure out who his floozy is, me by unashamedly eavesdropping, and she by playing Guess Who? �Who, Candy?� (Vance�s former co-captain, from another team, an idea which caused my stomach to turn anew). It turned out to be someone named Brenda. He apparently spends a suspicious amount of time at her desk, �assisting� her. I am bereft. There was a brief, shining moment when I thought that the juiciness of the gossip was due to Viola having triumphantly dumped Live-in Boyfriend, and was due soon to come galloping into work to sweep Vance off his feet, and whisk him off into the stairwell for some nice, long-deserved pre-shift humping. But now this Brenda has come along and loused it all up (�perhaps literally� I mused, flaring my nostrils derisively). According to NotSoSecret Boyfriend, however, she is a young interviewer on V&V�s team, who is married with a kid. I fretted and stewed until it dawned on me, he is flirting with her to make Viola jealous! It all makes sense! Viola goes on, day after miserable day, staying with Live-in Boyfriend out of sheer inertia, oblivious to both Vance�s feelings and her own. He therefore needs to shock her into awareness by seeming to express interest in another body. He has chosen this Brenda person because she is even more securely attached to her partner than is Viola to hers, having gone through the motions of both a wedding ceremony AND procreation. He can flirt harmlessly with her, knowing that at the end of the day she will not take him up on any of his innuendo The beauty of what I now recognize as his cunning plan is that even if Brenda does for some reason see fit to leave her husband and their life together in favour of Vance, he can then pawn her off on Viola�s Live-in guy, by encouraging an affair during the series of double dates that NotSoSecret and I surmised would likely come to pass. Vance�s plan is foolproof. Flirt your pants off, Brenda! THE GREATEST LOVE EVER KNOWN is smouldering like ants under a magnifying glass!! 12:12 a.m. - 2006-06-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NOW PLAYING.......&&&&&&&&&&&& andsometimeswhy75 &&&&&&&&........... | |||
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