THE GREATEST OLDIES OF ALL TIME ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ANGRY WARREN and HOW THE UNIVERSE BURNED HIM This is my new chum Angry Warren�s 2nd to last week of Market Research; he has found another job with a construction company. I�m sure he will receive wage increases quickly relative to our increase schedule, which runs according to our vague set of policies, which vary according to the whims of our clients, who like to think that they are responding to consumer interest, when in fact they are entertaining their little narcissistic corporate delusions. But ANyway, what I came here to chronicle was the astonishly bad luck that has befallen Angry Warren and his periphery, as of late (or, What They Have Heaped Upon Themselves). Their friend John (who was NOT at cards later) was wearing his wedding ring around his neck, for SAFE KEEPING. While OUT IN THE WATER he decided that this was an insufficiently secure method of keeping his ring OUT OF THE WATER, so he took the necklace OFF, and to nobody(ANYBODY?)�s real surprise he did indeed let his wedding ring slide INTO THE WATER, and disappear. Then,to make up for not having spent any significant day time outdoors thus far this summer, these guys chose to spend six sunscreenless hours out in the blazing sun. During the course of our follow-up evening card game, there was a running argument about whose pain was the most self-inflicted, the Crimson Kings or Dude, whose brand new hair implants were causing him a fair amount of discomfort. Finally, a new guy showed up at the game, by the name of Shawn. Apparently (I had consumed a fair amount of beer by the close of the festivities, I ought to mention) he made a rather crude remark to me during the course of play. I didn�t recall the incident when Warren mentioned it to me tonight, and I�m sure he was pretty glad about it, but upon reflection it began to swarm back at me, and the creepiness of it all. Ick is all I have to say. Needless to say, none of us were fit for competition that night, what with our varying levels and methods of incompetence; sunburning, ringlosing, gardenkilling. I�ll let my recent act of herbicide upon my advisor�s garden speak for itself. We perhaps all deserved to get taken by yuckmeister newcomer Shawn, who walked away with about four of my five staked dollars. A hex upon him. But the ABSOLUTE worst news was this: Warren has a great big crush on a human named Brenda, who works with us at Market Research (and whom I've never identified), and who also has, as of late SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKED UP WITH VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!!!!!
Although, I realize, he will eventually throw her over for Viola, so as to maximize the drama, but I might soon perish in this relentless heat, and miss out on the whole thing. Stay hydrated, everybody! 2:23 a.m. - 2006-07-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NOW PLAYING.......&&&&&&&&&&&& andsometimeswhy75 &&&&&&&&........... | |||
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