THE GREATEST OLDIES OF ALL TIME

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it's merely postmodern angst

It has been many many days since I have updated about the state of the union of Vance and Viola, due in large part to their complete lack of cooperation. Just tonight, as I gratefully hastened my way out of the building (I really really really loathe my job right now�I have been reminiscing as of late about how idyllic and carefree my Value Village days were�or seemed to be�) I had to hold the door open for Vance and his floozy, Brenda, as they came back in from their smoke break (she, by the way, was taking her break later in the shift than interviewers are NORMALLY allowed, but I guess shacking up with supervisors exempts one from these pesky regulations).

I�d like to be able to say that these flagrant displays of smoky coupleship have ignited Viola�s resolve to fling out her Live-In like so many old used paper towels, and claim Vance for her own true love-doodle, but instead he seems to have caught the eye of June �Flaming Thighs� Office Manager, who flashed her �woodbox� at poor defenceless Vance so enthusiastically at a recent supervisor meeting that his eyes actually started to water (according to NotSoSecret).

However, tonight I caught sight of Viola up on the third floor (where I usually work) chatting away happily with Redheaded Rod, another supervisor. The only way that I can think to describe him right now is to say that he would not look entirely out of place wearing a bunny suit.

So, on that enigmatic note, I would like to close by sharing with you this little tidbit. On Thursday, we will be entertaining some sort of efficiency expert, and we have all warned that we will NOT BE ALLOWED TO OPENLY READ at our desks on that day, at least until he/she buggers off. Yes, the people in charge of the work that we do are so completely DISacquainted with what we actually do, and the way that we do it, that we have to lie to them (to ourSELVES, really) in order to make everyone comfortable, even though it has been statistically proven that allowing reading material at our stations has no detectable negative impact on productivity. What the fuck is the point of having someone come in to evaluate our procedures, if we do our utmost to keep them secret? Oh, Veuve, how I long for thee, and your voluminous piles of crap!!!

12:33 a.m. - 2006-08-16
3 comments

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