THE GREATEST OLDIES OF ALL TIME ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- contraband cats I had a close call this week. I live in an old building, and the drains clog with dismal regularity. I recently got a pet beastling, a pretty little boy cat who is unfortunately an illegal resident in my particular building. My bathtub had suddenly ceased to drain properly (*in part* due to improper maintenance). I was reluctant to inform the rental agency and give myself away, so I struggled unsuccessfully to unblock the drain myself. Last year, when I was catfree, the drain also plugged up, but I just pranced out into the hallway and accosted some innocent handy person who was there take care of a situation in the boiler room; he told me that Drano wouldn't work on a drain like mine (antique?), and used an air blaster to clear the drain. So I figured that this time, I could just pop out to Home Depot and pick up the air blaster that I saw on the internet. I hitched a ride with a man with whom I had just had a date, and rode the bus home with my new purchase, only to almost wreck it almost immediately, by completely ignoring the directions and randomly shoving parts together. I finally got it correctly assembled, and found that I was required to tape over the overflow vent with duct tape, of which I had none. I found a cute little roll of electrical tape, which has quite a sexy effect when you make a sheet of it out of overlapping pieces, like skin tight leather. However, its aesthetic wasn't able to overcome the force of the air blaster, which popped off the overflow vent and tape covering like a cork out of a champagne bottle, complete with vapors. I used up all the included compressed air cartridges learning this lesson. So I had to call the agency after all, requesting that they send the plumber when I was home (but not telling them that the reason for this was so that I could hide the cat and all his paraphernalia in the kitchen). Which turned out to be quite easy...when he started miaowing, I just turned up the radio a bit. I won't reveal how *this* plumber cleared the drain, because he feared for the necessity of his profession and of driving himself into obselence by revealing trade secrets. It's a dog eat dog world, I'm afraid (it's too bad that cliche isn't about cats). 1:19 p.m. - 2006-04-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NOW PLAYING.......&&&&&&&&&&&& andsometimeswhy75 &&&&&&&&........... | |||
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